Saturday, February 22, 2014

♥囍♥ Premarital Counselling ♥囍♥

Lesson 1
Why you want to be with him/her?

I'm suppose most of you should be able to tell the reasons. Maybe some of you might ask ? Love need any reasons ? Yup , might be nope, but the question here asking why you want to be with her ?
For this reason today , you got to remember it till death.
1. I want to take care of him/her
2. I want to go through different stages in life with him/her together, i want to grow old together with him/her
3. He/She is the gift from God to me
4. I have the feelings that God placed him/her in my life

How much do you understand his/her family background ? How was him/ her being brought up? Can you accept his/her past ? His/ her fears in a marriage ? How much exactly you know about him/her?
He/she has what kind of expectation in a marriage?

Lesson 2
What is the role & responsibilities ?

Do you clearly understand about your roles & responsibility in the house?
How much of household you willing to share with your spouse?
Does both parties has any said when come to decision making ? or solely one party's decision making ?

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Lastly , it might be easy for us to crush with someone especially when we think someone is greater than our spouse at the work place. BUT do not forget that there is only a chosen one who is compatiable with us. You and your mates are click in certain way but does not mean both of you are compatible to each. Life is a long journey.

Lesson 3
Five Love Languages.

How does the five love languages improved your relationship with your spouse or family?
The five love language are
1. Words of Affirmation  (To be verbally acknowledge)
2. Quality Time (To enjoy companionship)
3. Receiving Gifts (To be given token of love)
4. Acts of Service (To have their partner do stuff for them)
5. Physical Touch ( To be in contact via the body contact)

We need to understand each other's love language in order for us to have better communication. It is always good when you able to express yourself well, an action sometime speaks thousand of words.

1. When he/she did something real good, maybe in cooking, prepare you one awesome breakfast , don't mind to give your token of compliment which acknowledge his/her goodness.

2. For a simple example , try to put your mobile handset aside when both of you sitting on dining table. Spend the Quality Time together with some meaningful discussion/ topic. Spend time together doing the same thing, such as movie time, gardening, household etc, even if you cant really help a lot to he/she, tried not to be distract by your mobile devices, instead be with him/her, the person whom prefer Quality Time as their love language, they need companionship! With you around , whether standing beside him/her while he/she doing his/her cooking, gardening, household, it is the greatest companionship which meant a lot to your spouse!

3. Everyone love receiving gifts ! Who don't ?  (",) A simple gift can always cheers someone up, light up their moody day!

4. There are some people who will be very happy or enlight if you did some simple task without order by them. For example, you check the housing electrical appliance frequently and manage to fix the light bulb without your wife "highlight" to you. Also, example like you offer to take care of the baby during the midnight and let your wife have more rest since it has been a tiring day for her by taking care the baby. You offered the tea to your husband who is busy with his works at his work station. These are acts of service , you do it with your willing heart and of course LOVE rules everything you did!

5. A nice hugs sometimes is very important to certain people. They will feel loved when someone hug them , kiss them. This vary depend on that person's background since young. I'm a Chinese who brought up in a conservative family, BUT i do see my dad hugging my mom , holding my mom's hand before. For some who has been brought up in a different family , maybe physical touch would turn out to be quite offensive to them. So , understand your partner well and walk through everything together!

Lesson 4
Finances & Saying I DO.

Finances would be a big topic , i mean a very realistic topic to a newly started family. We should start to plan our finances properly before saying I DO. There is this line in the vows , "be richer or poorer...", so question here to you. Are you able to be with your spouse no matter rich or poor ? Or are you not ready to suffer together , i mean went through the up and down in life together ? Are you ready or prepare yourself that there might be chances in future that you cant even afford to buy yourself one branded dress and set of expensive make up? Well , not too serious , my dear friends, we can get ready our pen and let's start to draw on our BIG PLAN! Let's get start with our daily expenses, credit card payment, car installment, housing loan, study loan, petrol expenses, internet & utilities expenses, entertainment expenses (which include your shopping, your hobbies, your weekends activities etc), after accumulate both monthly expenses, now we can combine both paid and see if the two of you able to cope with your usual lifestyle still or there is a change in between the two of you.

So basically this is what I learnt through my PMC - Premarital Course in Church. There is a lot more, which i could not elaborate all here. Anyway, if you are preparing to get married soon, don't mind find yourself one PMC to attend, it will definitely benefit both of you.   (",)

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